Indian mard "main akela hoon" shaayad hi kyun kehte hain
2024 mein International Journal of Indian Psychology mein publish hui ek study mein pata chala ki Indian men mein ek moderate par consistent pattern dikhta hai, jise researchers "restrictive emotionality" bolte hain, yaani khulke feelings express karne mein ek seekhi hui dikkat. Study ne iski jad family upbringing, society ki expectations, bura samjhe jaane ka dar, media mein mardo ko dikhaye jaane ka tareeka, aur aise kisi role model ka na hona batayi jo feelings ke baare mein baat hi karta ho (Carvalho, 2024)। Iska kisi ek mard mein himmat ki kami se koi lena dena nahi. Yeh saalon mein bana ek pattern hai, jo aaspaas ke har insaan ne milke banaya, usse kahin pehle ki kisi ek mard ne decide kiya ho ki low feel karne par wo kya karega.
Result yeh hai, jo bahut common hai: ek mard sach mein akela feel kar sakta hai, usse pata bhi hota hai ki yeh feeling kya hai, phir bhi kisi ko yeh batane ke liye uske paas ek bhi ready sentence nahi hota, kyunki usne isse kabhi kisi se karte hue dekha ya khud karke nahi dekha.
Yeh chuppi asal mein kya cost karti hai
Bina kahe hua loneliness chupchap gayab nahi hota. Yeh usually kisi aur tareeke se bahar aata hai, irritation ki tarah, aisi thakan ki tarah jo neend se bhi theek nahi hoti, logon ke paas jaane ke bajaye unse door hatne ki tarah, ya har conversation mein hamesha "sab theek hai" kehte rehne ki tarah. Is feeling ko kisi bhari mehfil ke saamne confess karne ki zaroorat nahi. Bas ek sahi sentence chahiye, ek baar kaha hua, kisi trust wale insaan se.
Isse phir bhi kaise kahein
- Jitni zaroorat lage usse bhi chhoti baat se shuru karo. "Kuch dino se mann thoda bhaari hai" kehna shuruaat ke liye kaafi hai; pehli hi line mein poori kahani batane ka koi karz nahi hai.
- Us hierarchy se bahar kisi ko choose karo jo aapko unsafe feel karaye, boss nahi, wo relative nahi jisse aap impress karna chahte ho, agar inke saamne honest hona zyada risky lage.
- Agar bolna zyada exposed lage to text use karo. Kayi mardo ko bolne se zyada type karna aasan lagta hai, aur yeh shuruaat karne ka bilkul valid tareeka hai.
- Kehne se pehle us sentence ko ek baar practice kar lo, bhale hi sirf mann mein ya likh ke; rehearsal se real moment utna bhaari nahi lagta.
- Agar abhi aapke around koi aisa nahi hai, to kisi aise insaan se shuru karo jiska kaam hi sunna hai. Ek trained listener dost par burden daalne ki chinta aur baad mein alag nazar se dekhe jaane ki chinta, dono hata deta hai.
Kab kisi se baat karni chahiye
Agar koi ek insaan hai jis par aap thoda bahut trust karte ho, to pehle unhi se try karo; aksar unki reaction ka dar asli reaction se kahin bada hota hai. Agar abhi aisa koi insaan nahi hai, ya aap pehle kisi aise insaan se practice karna chahte ho jisko isse farak nahi padta ki aapko kaise "behave" karna chahiye, to ek listener se shuru karna sahi step hai. Agar yeh loneliness kaafi time se lagatar bana hua hai, ya iske saath low mood, neend na aana, ya pehle achhi lagne wali cheezon mein interest na aana bhi juda hai, to ek professional se baat karna faayda karega.
Agar aapne kabhi zor se yeh nahi kaha ki aap akela feel karte ho, to Clarity app aapko pehli baar yeh kehne ke liye ek private jagah deta hai, ek real, trained listener se, jisko isse farak nahi padta ki aapko kaise "behave" karna chahiye, chat par agar bolna abhi zyada lage, ya call par agar aap kisi aur ki aawaz sunna chahein. Perfect sentence ready hone ki koi zaroorat nahi. Yeh bhi padhne layak hai ki hum mein se itne log theek na hote hue bhi "main theek hoon" kyun bolte hain, kyunki yeh habit khaaskar mardo mein common hai, aur bina judge kiye sunne wala kisi ko kaise dhoondein, agar judge hone ka dar hi aapko rok raha hai. Is baare mein aur Clarity ke loneliness page par milega.
