Why Does My Partner Keep Asking For Space?
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Recently I watched Marriage Story on Netflix. In a scene where Nicole, who is finding her space in her marriage gets clarity that there was no scope of it in the marriage, is describing to her lawyer why she is seeking a divorce, she says “only if he had taken me into a big hug and said baby I am so excited for your new adventure. Of course, I want you to have a piece of earth that is yours. Well then, we might not be getting divorced.” A lot of relationship or marriages break down because of lack of space resulting in suffocation and frustration.
A lot is going on in a person’s life beyond their relationship- family issues, career problems, friends to give time to, and mental health. Be there for them if they need you but if they need time and space to clear the clutter, encourage them to do so and give them that space. It’s not only in these issues that one might need space. One may need space to grow, to do something different, to try out a new career or to come up with new ideas in their head, much like Nicole, in Marriage Story.
Partners need to grow together in a relationship. However, if one feels claustrophobic, there is a need for the other to patiently try to understand why exactly. You cannot blame people for the way they feel. If you are scared that the relationship will be over because of you giving that space, there are underlying problems in the relationship like:
Being too clingy
A friend of mine was so obsessed with her partner that she was always on a phone call with him, even when they were not talking. Now that was very romantic for a few initial days till it became irritating. The partner asked for space and my friend behaved as if he confessed to cheating on her. Behaviour such as this is downright problematic and needs to be improved. She complained to me about it and I advised her to simply give him the space he deserves.
Insecurity
If you can’t deal with your partner asking for space because you are insecure, you must address your insecurity. A little bit of insecurity and jealousy is natural and is fine. But if it is so overpowering and overbearing that it compels your partner to ask for space, you need to work on it. After all, in love, we have to conquer our demons to be able to be perfect for each other.
Dismissive behaviour
Invading someone’s space and being close to them are two different things. Have this clarity. If your partner snaps at you for not giving space despite you trying your best to not over-intrude, you need to seriously reassess their inclination in the relationship.
Irresponsibility
Irresponsible partners might ask for space at your crucial time when they know you need them to protect themselves from any inconveniences. If they do not show up if you are going through something in life, shoving away responsibility they have towards you, it is a big red flag.
Lack of emotional wellness connect
There are times in a relationship when both or one of the partner(s) need to breathe some fresh air beyond each other. This may be because you two have spent too much time together or they want to explore something or do something without you, for once. It is fine. However, this cannot excuse the lack of emotional wellness connection from either side. It is an issue when physical and mental space gives way to a gap in the emotional wellness connection between the two of you.
Boredom
However shallow boredom may seem a reason to ask for space, it is real. The world is too fast-paced, and a lack of excitement anywhere can make some people feel suffocated and bored. If your partner is asking for space because of boredom- it is a complicated situation. Try and give them space if they want and also build room for more excitement, if that is possible. If nothing can cure your partner’s boredom, it may be time to call it off.
Not every time your partner seeking space is a red alert in the relationship. It is like sand- the more you try to hold it tightly in your fist, the more it slips away. Everyone needs to retain their individuality, no matter how much in love and their partner needs to respect that. If your partner’s demand for space is due to reasons that you cannot help, then think about the repercussions. However, if it is reasonable, give them that. clarity is a platform that provides resources and support for emotional wellness and mental support. The platform aims to empower individuals to take control of their mental health by listening to their problems over call or chat and providing the necessary advice that their peers can’t.
Why Does My Partner Keep Asking For Space?
Breakup
Recently I watched Marriage Story on Netflix. In a scene where Nicole, who is finding her space in her marriage gets clarity that there was no scope of it in the marriage, is describing to her lawyer why she is seeking a divorce, she says “only if he had taken me into a big hug and said baby I am so excited for your new adventure. Of course, I want you to have a piece of earth that is yours. Well then, we might not be getting divorced.” A lot of relationship or marriages break down because of lack of space resulting in suffocation and frustration.
A lot is going on in a person’s life beyond their relationship- family issues, career problems, friends to give time to, and mental health. Be there for them if they need you but if they need time and space to clear the clutter, encourage them to do so and give them that space. It’s not only in these issues that one might need space. One may need space to grow, to do something different, to try out a new career or to come up with new ideas in their head, much like Nicole, in Marriage Story.
Partners need to grow together in a relationship. However, if one feels claustrophobic, there is a need for the other to patiently try to understand why exactly. You cannot blame people for the way they feel. If you are scared that the relationship will be over because of you giving that space, there are underlying problems in the relationship like:
Being too clingy
A friend of mine was so obsessed with her partner that she was always on a phone call with him, even when they were not talking. Now that was very romantic for a few initial days till it became irritating. The partner asked for space and my friend behaved as if he confessed to cheating on her. Behaviour such as this is downright problematic and needs to be improved. She complained to me about it and I advised her to simply give him the space he deserves.
Insecurity
If you can’t deal with your partner asking for space because you are insecure, you must address your insecurity. A little bit of insecurity and jealousy is natural and is fine. But if it is so overpowering and overbearing that it compels your partner to ask for space, you need to work on it. After all, in love, we have to conquer our demons to be able to be perfect for each other.
Dismissive behaviour
Invading someone’s space and being close to them are two different things. Have this clarity. If your partner snaps at you for not giving space despite you trying your best to not over-intrude, you need to seriously reassess their inclination in the relationship.
Irresponsibility
Irresponsible partners might ask for space at your crucial time when they know you need them to protect themselves from any inconveniences. If they do not show up if you are going through something in life, shoving away responsibility they have towards you, it is a big red flag.
Lack of emotional wellness connect
There are times in a relationship when both or one of the partner(s) need to breathe some fresh air beyond each other. This may be because you two have spent too much time together or they want to explore something or do something without you, for once. It is fine. However, this cannot excuse the lack of emotional wellness connection from either side. It is an issue when physical and mental space gives way to a gap in the emotional wellness connection between the two of you.
Boredom
However shallow boredom may seem a reason to ask for space, it is real. The world is too fast-paced, and a lack of excitement anywhere can make some people feel suffocated and bored. If your partner is asking for space because of boredom- it is a complicated situation. Try and give them space if they want and also build room for more excitement, if that is possible. If nothing can cure your partner’s boredom, it may be time to call it off.
Not every time your partner seeking space is a red alert in the relationship. It is like sand- the more you try to hold it tightly in your fist, the more it slips away. Everyone needs to retain their individuality, no matter how much in love and their partner needs to respect that. If your partner’s demand for space is due to reasons that you cannot help, then think about the repercussions. However, if it is reasonable, give them that. clarity is a platform that provides resources and support for emotional wellness and mental support. The platform aims to empower individuals to take control of their mental health by listening to their problems over call or chat and providing the necessary advice that their peers can’t.
