Why Are You Not Able To Sleep After A Breakup?
BreakupClarity App
Months after my breakup, I began taking therapy sessions to get clarity and some of the few routine questions in those sessions were related to my sleep cycle. I was asked about how much I slept if at all I did and if was it a peaceful and adequate sleep. Before that, I had never given my sleeping patterns much thought and importance. I always had the habit of sleeping by 11 at night and waking up by 6 in the morning, with or without an alarm.
When the breakup was recent, I used to go through an entire day of working and socializing, pretending I was okay. It was as if my mind waited for the nighttime to be able to grieve enough about the relationship to keep me going for another ‘seemingly normal’ yet ‘_emotional wellness_ly challenging’ day. I could cry freely at night, with no one to judge me or tell me “it’s ok” when it was not okay. I could stare blankly at walls and overthink my situation without external disturbances. Nighttime became my solace for which I willingly compromised my sleep without even realizing it. My emotional wellness support became a mess. When things went downhill and therapy became my only resort, only then I understood the value of good sleep.
I started noticing how many hours I would sleep. (My therapist advised me to keep a sleep diary which I was expected to fill up religiously and show to my therapist at the beginning of each session). Different people react differently to breakup or depression when it comes to sleeping patterns. Some have the urge to sleep throughout the day and cannot manage to wake up and still stay exhausted and lethargic throughout the day. Some like me carry dark circles and dried eyes all day long and snap at every possible minor reason.
When my therapist started emphasising improving my sleep cycle, I asked her why exactly I could not sleep. She explained to me that it was because I always had a mind out on a race to overthink and a heart that was still grieving. Withdrawal symptoms after a breakup kept me in constant mental and emotional wellness pain and my mind was always active. All my deep emotions resurfaced at night and I became used to it. Even tiredness could not help me sleep. Then there were also urges to call or text my ex, more so in the loneliness of the night. It was the lack of acceptance of the permanence of the breakup that devastated me and kept me awake at night.
She told me that post-breakup insomnia is very common and most people go through it and recovering from the ache of the heartbreak (which takes a different amount of time for different people) is the only solution to it. However, sleeping adequately, in turn also affects the recovery process positively and therefore she insisted on sleeping properly.
Sleep quality affects stress levels, mood and emotion regulation, reactivity to things and cognitive abilities. The sleep cycle and many mental health issues are interlinked with each other. A study shows that about 75 per cent of people who are depressed also have symptoms of insomnia and given the number of people that have depression, the number of people who cannot sleep at all or have inadequate sleeping is very high. When the mind is not at peace, it refuses to sleep. It is through the reduction of anxiety and stress and relaxation that sleep patterns can be brought back to normal. Here are a few tips that I used that may help you to have a proper sleep cycle. 1. Quietude and peace are a must to be able to sleep. Internally you should feel calm to induce sleep. 2. Chanting, repeating mantras or anything that focuses you softly helps distract you from intrusive thoughts and overthinking. 3. Do not ‘try too hard’; just relax! 4. Comfortable sleeping environment is a must therefore pay attention to the pillow, the mattress, the lighting etc. 5. Counting your breaths or meditation before you sleep calms you down. There are many YouTube videos also available for the same. 6. Eat healthy and exercise. Use energy constructively. This also produces happy hormones in the body that lead to easier and happier sleep. 7. Reduce screen timing. Keep your phone away when about to sleep. 8. Visualizing peaceful images can help you forget pain and grief and relax on the bed. 9. Medical help is strongly suggested if the problem persists because sleep is of prime importance in increasing productivity and living a happy healthy life.
You can also try to get clarity on your issues over the Clarity App. Their listeners have not licensed therapists, but they are trained to provide emotional wellness support and guidance to individuals who may be experiencing stress, anxiety, overthinking, relationship issues or other mental health challenges. They may use various techniques, such as reflective listening, to help individuals process their feeling and find coping strategies.
Why Are You Not Able To Sleep After A Breakup?
Breakup
Months after my breakup, I began taking therapy sessions to get clarity and some of the few routine questions in those sessions were related to my sleep cycle. I was asked about how much I slept if at all I did and if was it a peaceful and adequate sleep. Before that, I had never given my sleeping patterns much thought and importance. I always had the habit of sleeping by 11 at night and waking up by 6 in the morning, with or without an alarm.
When the breakup was recent, I used to go through an entire day of working and socializing, pretending I was okay. It was as if my mind waited for the nighttime to be able to grieve enough about the relationship to keep me going for another ‘seemingly normal’ yet ‘_emotional wellness_ly challenging’ day. I could cry freely at night, with no one to judge me or tell me “it’s ok” when it was not okay. I could stare blankly at walls and overthink my situation without external disturbances. Nighttime became my solace for which I willingly compromised my sleep without even realizing it. My emotional wellness support became a mess. When things went downhill and therapy became my only resort, only then I understood the value of good sleep.
I started noticing how many hours I would sleep. (My therapist advised me to keep a sleep diary which I was expected to fill up religiously and show to my therapist at the beginning of each session). Different people react differently to breakup or depression when it comes to sleeping patterns. Some have the urge to sleep throughout the day and cannot manage to wake up and still stay exhausted and lethargic throughout the day. Some like me carry dark circles and dried eyes all day long and snap at every possible minor reason.
When my therapist started emphasising improving my sleep cycle, I asked her why exactly I could not sleep. She explained to me that it was because I always had a mind out on a race to overthink and a heart that was still grieving. Withdrawal symptoms after a breakup kept me in constant mental and emotional wellness pain and my mind was always active. All my deep emotions resurfaced at night and I became used to it. Even tiredness could not help me sleep. Then there were also urges to call or text my ex, more so in the loneliness of the night. It was the lack of acceptance of the permanence of the breakup that devastated me and kept me awake at night.
She told me that post-breakup insomnia is very common and most people go through it and recovering from the ache of the heartbreak (which takes a different amount of time for different people) is the only solution to it. However, sleeping adequately, in turn also affects the recovery process positively and therefore she insisted on sleeping properly.
Sleep quality affects stress levels, mood and emotion regulation, reactivity to things and cognitive abilities. The sleep cycle and many mental health issues are interlinked with each other. A study shows that about 75 per cent of people who are depressed also have symptoms of insomnia and given the number of people that have depression, the number of people who cannot sleep at all or have inadequate sleeping is very high. When the mind is not at peace, it refuses to sleep. It is through the reduction of anxiety and stress and relaxation that sleep patterns can be brought back to normal. Here are a few tips that I used that may help you to have a proper sleep cycle. 1. Quietude and peace are a must to be able to sleep. Internally you should feel calm to induce sleep. 2. Chanting, repeating mantras or anything that focuses you softly helps distract you from intrusive thoughts and overthinking. 3. Do not ‘try too hard’; just relax! 4. Comfortable sleeping environment is a must therefore pay attention to the pillow, the mattress, the lighting etc. 5. Counting your breaths or meditation before you sleep calms you down. There are many YouTube videos also available for the same. 6. Eat healthy and exercise. Use energy constructively. This also produces happy hormones in the body that lead to easier and happier sleep. 7. Reduce screen timing. Keep your phone away when about to sleep. 8. Visualizing peaceful images can help you forget pain and grief and relax on the bed. 9. Medical help is strongly suggested if the problem persists because sleep is of prime importance in increasing productivity and living a happy healthy life.
You can also try to get clarity on your issues over the Clarity App. Their listeners have not licensed therapists, but they are trained to provide emotional wellness support and guidance to individuals who may be experiencing stress, anxiety, overthinking, relationship issues or other mental health challenges. They may use various techniques, such as reflective listening, to help individuals process their feeling and find coping strategies.
