Ashok and I were childhood sweethearts. We were together in the most formative years of our lives. He had known when I had my first period. I had known which girls he had been crushing on. When exactly the friendship turned into a romantic relationship, neither of us have clarity. It was organic. We were best friends before we were lovers. Our love seemed so pure, so out of the world, it almost felt unreal to me. Sometimes I wonder, whether all this was in my head and maybe we were just very ordinary.

Anyways, how does it matter now?

After school, we moved to different cities for college and the relationship continued as a long-distance relationship. Busy schedules, lack of communication, and misunderstandings engulfed the relationship and we had to mutually decide to break up. You remember how in the Harry Potter series characters feel after Dementors would come over them- drained of all peace, hope, and happiness, filled with despair and emptiness. That’s what my life felt to me.

I had to take up the very heavy task of existence! I didn’t want to move on initially, I had no concept of moving on in my mind because all I could think of was him, our relationship and our former happy times. I was so engrossed in my pain that every person who love me and took care of me became just a blur to me. I read somewhere that the main character of the book of our lives is often what we lack- for a homeless, a home would be the main character of her life; for a poor guy, money would be the main character, for the unhappy, a smile of content would be the main character & for a confused person, getting clarity. It is what we lose or what we seek that becomes the primary focus- the main character in our lives. For me, Ashok, or more precisely, my lost relationship became the primary focus. Everything else, everyone else was just a blur.

Life could not continue that way. It had to stop. I didn’t want to live at one point in my life and it was the worst phase of my life. By God’s grace, I never materialized those thoughts into actions. But on one of those days, a thought crossed my mind- what have I become? In that worst phase, I resolved to get over the breakup and rebuild myself again. I pledged myself to take take care of my emotional wellness well-being and mental health.

The first thing I did was practice gratitude for what I had and shift focus from what I did not have. I tried to list down things I should feel grateful for- everything big and small. The list began with “Parents”, “Friends”, and “Comfortable living” and continued till I wrote “Life Itself!” I decided I will make a gratitude jar and fill it with things I felt grateful for daily. I would go back to the jar when I felt down to feel elated. I finally started valuing my life again.

I gave time to myself. The entire time before that, my life had revolved so much around one person that I found myself giving such less ‘me-time’. I began by filing my nails and painting them! I wrote. I started socializing with friends. I started reading books again. For doing what I might like, I had to think about my likes and dislikes, and what would make me happy. I didn’t even know when because of these activities, I became the primary focus of my life once again and love myself the way I deserved to be love.

Healthy conversations with friends helped a lot. After the breakup, I had gone into my shell and isolated myself completely. But now I decided to finally open up and talk to my friends. At first, all I could talk was about Ashok, the relationship, the breakup and everything in between. I cried in front of them. Expressed my anger. Told them how much I missed him. Worded out my emotional wellness and mental struggles. Through patient and support listening, my conversations shifted from all that to newer things.

Making a routine and trying to follow it gave me very less time to harp on my ex. I started exercising, eating right and focused on having a healthy lifestyle. In the beginning, it was very difficult to force me to follow it. But when gradually I saw positive results in my physical and mental health, I became used to it. I also focused on my studies and career and started performing better at them.

The Clarity App helped me throughout my journey of getting over my ex and moving on with my life. Clarity App was able to provide me with the support and guidance I needed during this difficult time in my life. The app's trained professionals can be an excellent resource for people who are struggling with various emotional wellness or psychological challenges, including relationship issues and depression.

In my journey of moving over an ex, I learnt the most valuable lessons of my life- I learnt gratitude, patience, empathy, self-love, the importance of health and much more. I practised kindness and non-judgmental behaviour on myself. There still are bad days sometimes, but unlike before, I know how to cope with them knowing my patterns. I now realize that it is so important to move on after a breakup and extend your arms to the immense possibilities that life brings to you each day. It may be the hardest thing you are required to do, but it also is the most empowering thing you may end up doing.