5 Things To Do When You Are Feeling Lonely
LonelinessClarity App
A few days ago I met a friend after a long and there was so much to catch up with her. Most post-pandemic conversations with friends revolve around mental and emotional wellness health, so, we dived into talking about our respective experiences with erratic mental health due to the lockdown to have better clarity on what the other person went through. She said, “I started feeling that I always had the compulsive desire to have people around me but even when I spent hours around people, I would still go back and feel empty. Was I craving people all the time, I often asked myself. A sting of this self-awareness pricked me and loneliness oozed out of that wound. At first, I never acknowledged that I was lonely. It almost felt like an insult- a label that said that no one liked me enough.”
Her words knocked on the door in my heart and compelled me to introspect. I realized that so many people around me are struggling with loneliness. This friend of mine is not someone who does not or cannot talk to people. It is easy for her to talk to new people and even initiate conversations. However, there was a lack of fulfilment in her life, as if something (rather someone) is missing.
Being alone is very distinct from being lonely. One is a choice, and the other is an unhappy reality for some. When you observe closely, you will have the clarity that the world is a lonely place. Most battles, especially when they are of your mental health, are fought alone. Turning to vital distractions in life like focusing on work or academics, reading, watching series and travelling hardly give you the time to address, let alone process, your tryst with loneliness.
In the course of our conversation, my friend and I tried to discuss loneliness and how one can overcome it. We thought of 5 things one can do when feeling lonely:
1. Acknowledge and Understand Your loneliness
Understand that, there's no shame in feeling lonely. Most people having seemingly full lives may feel lonely and desolate inside. If you feel no one understands you, there is no one you can depend on or confide to or in front of who you can be your real self, or there is a constant starvation for intimacy, you are probably feeling lonely. A famous Buddhist saying goes “Be a lamp unto yourselves”! If you do not understand yourself, no one can eliminate your darkness. Once you acknowledge your loneliness, recognizing your patterns will be very helpful. When do you feel most lonely? What triggers these feeling? What are the things you do or people you talk to or what kind of conversations or advice make you feel better in these times? Find answers to these questions through your experiences. This will help you in acknowledging and understanding your loneliness.
2. Connect With Your Self
Once a man went to a wise monk and asked him, “Master, is there any way out of loneliness?” The monk replied, - “a craftsman looks for what is ‘not there’ to practice his craft; a builder looks for an empty land to construct; a water carrier picks an empty pot to fill; a carpenter stops at a house without doors. Thus, the void can be filled with creativity and craft. The hint of emptiness is your call to turn towards it and fill it with creative force.” Do not run away from your loneliness, instead, replace it with productivity and better yourself. We, as a generation are losing connection with ourselves. There is so much noise externally that we are left with a gaping hole inside us. Therefore, now more than ever, we need to consciously put an effort into connecting with ourselves or it will keep affecting our emotional wellness support. There are various ways to do so, for example, meditation. There are many videos on a guided meditation on the internet to practice at home. Activities such as these will give you a sense of fulfilment and contentment.
3. Find Your Tribe
loneliness, sometimes, is a result of the self-centred nature of most of our daily activities, which results in alienation and self-isolation. Internet used wisely, provides a variety of ways to engage with new people and discover similar interests with them. When feeling low, apps like clarity may give you the necessary comfort amongst people in front of who you can be transparent. Involving people beyond routine work helps combat loneliness and makes one feel included and accepted.
4. Don't Resort To Harsh Escapes
We give our brain the push to feel less lonely through temporary enjoyment. However, one must not find harsh escapes like addictions, toxic friendships, emotional wellness eating, consuming high-calorie food, resorting to too much screen time or overusing social media when feeling lonely. Sometimes, it is okay to let yourself feel the loneliness and process it in quietude. If it feels chronic, do not hesitate to consult a professional for help and counselling.
5. Engage in Feel-Good Activities
Sometimes, loneliness makes people bitter towards the world and the people around them. It is necessary to soften yourself by involving in activities that make you feel love, included and even ‘needed’. Volunteer work, talking to elderly people, taking care of pets etc. are amazing ways to do so. Deeds of kindness connect you with other people on a deeper level and enhance you as a human being. It is very important to not only learn to savour your own company but also feel a deep connection with people to become a truly content person. clarity is the best platform for people who suffers from loneliness, anxiety and depression. The listeners that listen to you over chat or call, can become your best friends in just a matter of moments. Their advice and counselling have helped a lot of people & can help you too.
5 Things To Do When You Are Feeling Lonely
Loneliness
A few days ago I met a friend after a long and there was so much to catch up with her. Most post-pandemic conversations with friends revolve around mental and emotional wellness health, so, we dived into talking about our respective experiences with erratic mental health due to the lockdown to have better clarity on what the other person went through. She said, “I started feeling that I always had the compulsive desire to have people around me but even when I spent hours around people, I would still go back and feel empty. Was I craving people all the time, I often asked myself. A sting of this self-awareness pricked me and loneliness oozed out of that wound. At first, I never acknowledged that I was lonely. It almost felt like an insult- a label that said that no one liked me enough.”
Her words knocked on the door in my heart and compelled me to introspect. I realized that so many people around me are struggling with loneliness. This friend of mine is not someone who does not or cannot talk to people. It is easy for her to talk to new people and even initiate conversations. However, there was a lack of fulfilment in her life, as if something (rather someone) is missing.
Being alone is very distinct from being lonely. One is a choice, and the other is an unhappy reality for some. When you observe closely, you will have the clarity that the world is a lonely place. Most battles, especially when they are of your mental health, are fought alone. Turning to vital distractions in life like focusing on work or academics, reading, watching series and travelling hardly give you the time to address, let alone process, your tryst with loneliness.
In the course of our conversation, my friend and I tried to discuss loneliness and how one can overcome it. We thought of 5 things one can do when feeling lonely:
1. Acknowledge and Understand Your loneliness
Understand that, there's no shame in feeling lonely. Most people having seemingly full lives may feel lonely and desolate inside. If you feel no one understands you, there is no one you can depend on or confide to or in front of who you can be your real self, or there is a constant starvation for intimacy, you are probably feeling lonely. A famous Buddhist saying goes “Be a lamp unto yourselves”! If you do not understand yourself, no one can eliminate your darkness. Once you acknowledge your loneliness, recognizing your patterns will be very helpful. When do you feel most lonely? What triggers these feeling? What are the things you do or people you talk to or what kind of conversations or advice make you feel better in these times? Find answers to these questions through your experiences. This will help you in acknowledging and understanding your loneliness.
2. Connect With Your Self
Once a man went to a wise monk and asked him, “Master, is there any way out of loneliness?” The monk replied, - “a craftsman looks for what is ‘not there’ to practice his craft; a builder looks for an empty land to construct; a water carrier picks an empty pot to fill; a carpenter stops at a house without doors. Thus, the void can be filled with creativity and craft. The hint of emptiness is your call to turn towards it and fill it with creative force.” Do not run away from your loneliness, instead, replace it with productivity and better yourself. We, as a generation are losing connection with ourselves. There is so much noise externally that we are left with a gaping hole inside us. Therefore, now more than ever, we need to consciously put an effort into connecting with ourselves or it will keep affecting our emotional wellness support. There are various ways to do so, for example, meditation. There are many videos on a guided meditation on the internet to practice at home. Activities such as these will give you a sense of fulfilment and contentment.
3. Find Your Tribe
loneliness, sometimes, is a result of the self-centred nature of most of our daily activities, which results in alienation and self-isolation. Internet used wisely, provides a variety of ways to engage with new people and discover similar interests with them. When feeling low, apps like clarity may give you the necessary comfort amongst people in front of who you can be transparent. Involving people beyond routine work helps combat loneliness and makes one feel included and accepted.
4. Don't Resort To Harsh Escapes
We give our brain the push to feel less lonely through temporary enjoyment. However, one must not find harsh escapes like addictions, toxic friendships, emotional wellness eating, consuming high-calorie food, resorting to too much screen time or overusing social media when feeling lonely. Sometimes, it is okay to let yourself feel the loneliness and process it in quietude. If it feels chronic, do not hesitate to consult a professional for help and counselling.
5. Engage in Feel-Good Activities
Sometimes, loneliness makes people bitter towards the world and the people around them. It is necessary to soften yourself by involving in activities that make you feel love, included and even ‘needed’. Volunteer work, talking to elderly people, taking care of pets etc. are amazing ways to do so. Deeds of kindness connect you with other people on a deeper level and enhance you as a human being. It is very important to not only learn to savour your own company but also feel a deep connection with people to become a truly content person. clarity is the best platform for people who suffers from loneliness, anxiety and depression. The listeners that listen to you over chat or call, can become your best friends in just a matter of moments. Their advice and counselling have helped a lot of people & can help you too.
